Last post on Bruce Allen’s appearance on ESPN980 yesterday, following on his reminiscences about the past and discussion of the current offseason.
After all that serious talk was done, co-host Steve Czaban jumped in with one last question, one that is very important to the fanbase, at least based on my web traffic and the emails I get featuring helmet mock-ups (such as the one up top of this post): he asked about the possibility of a change to the Redskins uniforms.
Czaban tends to be very good about asking these kind of voice-of-the-fans questions, which is terrific. Unfortunately, as we’ll see, this time he didn’t actually feel like listening to the voice of the GM for the answer.
(Let me interject here as I always do, to clearly state: I am hearing that there will be NO change to the uniforms. The helmet above is a fan creation. All the rumors and speculation are just that. But it’s been a subject of much discussion, online and off, and Czaban saw an opportunity and wisely went for it.)
“I’ve gotta add one last thing,” Czaban said. “The uniform. A lot of people are really into the uniform–“
“Like you,” co-host Andy Pollin interjected.
“– and have very particular ideas about it,” Czaban continued, “some more traditional than others. Is there anything going on with the Redskins uniform that we should know about? Redesigns? Tweaks?”
“Oh, no,” Allen said. “No.”
For the record, that seems pretty clear and unequivocal. And, just to be even more certain, Czaban asked the obvious follow-up: “No?”
“No,” Allen reiterated. “First of all, I have talked about the uniform to Coach Shanahan–“
“You have? ” Czaban interjected. “Good!”
Allen continued, “–and I have some special thoughts that–“
“I’m sure YOU do!” Czaban interrupted again.
Allen tried manfully to keep going. “–that — that — I lov–“
This time it was Polin who cut him off. “You can consult with Mr. Blackwell here if you’re looking for some input, ’cause he has lots of ideas.”
At this point, Czaban went into full-on Shouty Sports-yell Radio mode, and whatever Allen was about to say was run off the conversational road and into a conversational culvert. “Well hold on,” Czaban sputtered. “Okay, you know, all right, okay, listen. Listen, smarty-pants: YOU don’t care about it–“
“No,” Pollin interjected, “I do!” (In hindsight, I should really have looked up synonyms for interjected before attempting this transcription.)
“But you have no idea how passionate many Redskins fans are!” Czaban thundered.
At this point, Allen managed to pull his metaphorical car out of the conversational culvert and tried to merge back into the discussion. “Oh, I’m passionate about our uniforms–” he started.
“I know,” Czaban said, sounding somewhat surprised to be interrupted.
Allen kept going. “–and take a lot of pride –“
“I know,” Czaban said again, sounding like he was wondering why this other guy kept trying to talk.
“–in the burgundy and gold,” Allen said, finally managing to finish a sentence. It was a short-lived triumph.
“Right,” Czaban yelled, apparently now more interested in declaiming his point than in hearing what Allen was trying to say. “And the burgundy and burgundy was viewed as an atrocity by many.”
“Well,” Allen started.
“Just for the record,” Czaban clarified, then added, “I don’t know how YOU feel about that,” thereby missing a golden opportunity to find out how HE felt about that.
“Well,” Allen said, gamely trying again. “Coach Shanahan and I have had s–“
Czaban, however, seemed concerned that he might not have made his point clearly enough, and interjected again. “That is NOT one of our uniforms in MY book,” he said. “If you wanna wear the burgundy tops at home, it’s a little different, it’s kinda seventies, I get it. I’m not wild about it, but that’s okay — as long as you’ve got the white pants.”
“Well,” Pollin said, “that’s probably a big relief for you, Bruce, isn’t it?”
“Okay,” Czaban said, apparently without irony, “that’s enough.”
Pollin continued, “That he’s approved the burgundy tops for home.”
“Thank you so much,” Allen said, having given up all hope of actually saying whatever he had started fifteen conversation miles before. “Are you coming scouting with me?”
“I’m available, yes,” Czaban said. “So what will be the home uniform next year?”
“Do we know?” Pollin added.
“We don’t have the schedule yet,” Allen said, “so when we get the schedule, we’ll let you know.”
He did not add, “And I was trying to tell you a minute ago when you were shouting about pants,” but he didn’t really need to. I think it was understood.
Anyhow, the summary of all that once you excise the sports-radio yelling seems to be that Allen has some thoughts about the uniform that do NOT include changing it. If I get a chance to ask him about those changes when he gets back from Miami, I promise to keep quiet until I found out what they are.
